This is a post born of anger and frustration.  I’ve felt for months that my work habits are slipping.  I no longer spend my evenings playing with new technologies, or investing in my work projects to keep everything afloat and on schedule.  Even adjunct teaching is hard, and I only have a handful of students.  My portfolio sucks, I don’t create art much any longer, I don’t read as many books, and I hate my life.

After letting this anger unexpectedly and unfortunately boil over into my professional life, I took a step back and asked what brought about this change.  Why do I no longer do the things I want to do?

The only answer I could come up with is that I’m exhausted from cooking and (failed) dieting.

Before dieting I would go to a restaurant, order, and go home to get on with my life.  Total average time per meal:  45 minutes, or 15.75 hours/week.

Now it’s much more complicated and time consuming.

In other words, cooking is like a second job.  No wonder I don’t have time for anything else.

I’m clearly doing several things wrong all at the same time.  Here is a list of techniques I’m sure experienced cooks have, and that I’m still lacking, all of which impact time on task.  I’m trying to be prescriptive about this instead of just ranting, so I’ve included notes on how I can improve.

• Experienced cooks have tried-and-true recipes to choose from. I’m not an experienced cook, so I don’t have that database yet.  I’ve been working on it for well over a year, and I only have a few recipes that I feel are 1) easy to make 2) healthy and 3) tasty.  It’s also difficult because I’m trying to move away from being a picky eater, so I not only have to try new recipes, I also have to try new foods. I’ve been sourcing recipes from Pinterest and the occasional cookbook. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, and there is a magazine everyone but me knows about? SOLUTION: Clueless. I’m really trying here, but failing in spades.
• Experienced cooks are good at meal planning. I’m using meal-planning software Plan to Eat, which helps. The only real slowdown is when I have to type a recipe out of a cookbook. The only problem here is me — I should be cooking right now but instead I’m blabbing to a blog. I disrupt my meal plan far, far too often. SOLUTION: I’m not sure what to do about this, except find meals that are easy to cook so I face the kitchen with less dread and more joy.
• Experienced cooks have freezers and make freezer meals. I have an irrational dislike of leftovers that I’m struggling to overcome, and one sure-fire way to get past it is to cook a bunch of wonderful freezer meals. Problem is that to date I’ve only found three freezer meals I enjoy, and two of them are pasta. SOLUTION: I need to be freezing at least two meals out of five, carefully picking recipes that will freeze well.  I also need a standalone freezer.
• Experienced cooks use their slow cooker. I hate slow cooker meals. They tend to be soup, or stew, or mush. None of those are appealing. SOLUTION:  I’m not sure how to get around this problem. Maybe I need to invest in a slow-cooker cookbook?
• Experienced cooks know how to shop.  They know what grocery store aisle holds the Sriracha sauce or the liquid smoke.  They have price books, and know a good deal when the see it.  They have that mental database of recipes, so when the store is out of sugar snap peas they can reconfigure their menus in the middle of the produce section. They manage to shop when stores aren’t crowded and a decent selection of this week’s bargains are still on the shelves.  They know from experience which foods are healthy, so they don’t spend twenty minutes reading the label on each mustard jar. SOLUTION:  While these are all admirable qualities, I think the only thing that will help me here is more experience.  I could make a price book, but to be honest I’m too busy reading the labels on mustard jars.
• Experienced cooks buy in bulk. While this isn’t true for all experienced cooks, I’d bet the majority of them buy in bulk when possible.  (Budget, transportation, and home storage are all barriers to bulk buys; it’s important to realize not everyone has these advantages.) I don’t bulk buy because 1) the bulk stores are on the other end of the city, and 2) I get stupid in these stores, buying a ton of stuff I’ll never use, or that will go bad well before the expiration date.
• Experienced cooks have kitchen gear.  They aren’t madly running through their apartment at 8 PM trying to use a wire hanger and a pair of nylons to improvise a steamer basket while dinner burns on the stove.  SOLUTION:  I’m really, really good at researching and shopping online, so all I need to do is pay more attention to the recipes I choose so I’m aware of gadget requirements before I commit to a recipe. (BTW, my rice cooker has a steamer basket!)
• Experienced cooks probably have an audience. I imagine (but have no proof) that cooking for loved ones or even roommates makes a difference. The audience can also be guilted into cleaning the kitchen, which probably helps. SOLUTION:  Get a life. [Duh, like why am I bothering with diets to begin with, stupid self-authored list?]
• Experienced cooks are probably maybe supposedly healthier than I am. Going waaaay out on a limb here, I’m going to guess that people who cook are generally healthier than I am, even overweight cooks. They have more energy because they eat better.  They are able to cook for longer periods of time and also have enough energy to clean up afterwards. SOLUTION: Cook more. Exercise.  Diet.  (Duh.)
• Experienced cooks probably enjoy cooking. I don’t. I enjoy eating, kind of, but nothing else kitchen-related. Cooking is a necessity, not a pleasure. SOLUTION: Brain washing. I’ve been working on this via Pinterest, conversations with Sharon M, and cooking blogs. I tried meal-in-a-box services, and menu-planning services. Maybe I need to kick it up a notch, and watch the Food Network constantly. Or maybe cook more.

I’m not sure what to do next.  Yes, I have a list of solutions, but it seems overwhelming right now, and I have an avocado on my kitchen counter that is going bad as a type. I’m going to leave the list for now, and possibly come back to this in a few weeks, when I feel more sane.