Over the past three weeks I’ve voluntarily put myself in a highly stressful situation. Seriously stressful, like crying in public or staying up all hours because I’m too pissed to sleep.

I gained back five pounds, made myself physically ill, and in the process learned a little more about my stress eating.

In the past I’ve felt stress leads me to make poor food choices, which is true. But now I’ve realized the poor choices follow on the heels of another behavior. Before making a poor food choice I always fail to cook. And that one failure cascades into the Whataburger drive-through before I can say “french fries.”

My habit loop didn’t look the way I thought it did! I thought my cue was that point where I picked up my keys to head out the door to Double Dave’s for pepperoni rolls. The routine was eating, and the reward was the “I’m treating myself” mentality.  I was close, but the cue is further back. The real underlying cause is depression, of course, but the the cue that triggers fast food is the decision to not cook.

So, following current research on habits, I need to change the behavior. Once I’ve decided not to cook I need to find a different way to make myself feel better.

Since I do still need to eat, I’ll try to reheat something in the freezer, or barring that I’ll go to the store (hopefully Farm Patch, where the danger of junk food is reduced) and grab non-cook foods, like fruit, whole-grain crackers, and cheese. Maybe a chicken. I’ll also buy a new book if I can avoid the junk food. That will be a great non-calorie reward that will hopefully keep me away from the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

I obviously need to continue to look for ways to break free of the underlying depression, but until that happens changing the fast-food habit would be a huge win.